Education

From the start of grade school (1st grade) I was always under-challenged academically, probably mostly due to homeschooling. 1st grade, I was so advanced that in an attempt to compensate the teacher put me in 2nd grade for reading (my reading level was my biggest strength at the time- and that particular class had so few students that the 2nd and 1st grade was combined as one, with 2 teachers) all through grade school class was both fun and easy- with the only exception being 2nd grade. Actually I did not realize this till now, but the reason for that in retrospect may have been because I was never good at group projects, and the difficulties I had was with a group project. When Jr. High came around, I was positive that I was a smart and gifted student, and took that upon myself as my identity. In accordance I immersed myself in education, and made it my obsession. Because I had only partially "owned" it as my identity, my educational base was weak, but since I continued to get top grades (my 8th grade 1st semester GPA was 4.1) I can confirm that such an approach sufficed. However, after the end of 1st semester 8th grade I transfered to King's Academy (a college-preparatory high school with an excellent reputation) with a partial scholarship, Things began to change. Well, actually 8th grade was fine- I got top grades and made lots of friends- as well as participation in many things. I don't want to reveal too much because I plan to save some of this material for my autobiography.

Well, truth be told the reason why I was struggling a few months into the 1st semester of high school was because I had many changes going on. At the time, I had started taking both growth hormone and several (likely unneeded) medications. These probably caused a sudden lack of sleep, which I was not prepared for, as well as emotional instabilities that resulted in a lack of performance. Although I was far from failing (my worst grades were C's, in Spanish and Geometry), my aunt responded to my stress in a melodramatic fashion, and registered me for an I.E.P. (Individual Educational Plan) There my IQ was measured to be 133, which falls under "genius" but I feel that the test was dependent on how academically active I was at the time. In addition, it is different from most IQ tests, in that there was no time limit. It was decided to enroll me in Foothill ADT high school, and until the first day there I was sure that it was a school for gifted students possessing exceptional intelligence or dedication to academics (or something along those lines. I did not enter until after my aunt had returned me to the shelter, and I was in my first group home, Willow of EMQ (Eastfield Ming Quong) for a few months. But I had yet to be corrupted by the system, and despite the disorienting circumstances, did fairly well my first year. But after that, although it was a gradual process, I became more and more exposed to the higher forms of mental stimuli, starting with TV and music, then visual media. It would be inaccurate to say my exposure to the higher forms of mental stimuli was wholly responsible for my educational degradation, but it definitely was a factor.

One thing that could have solved all of this would be to actually take time to realize how certain factors affect my life, present, past and future. It's true that I am intelligent, but not nearly as intelligent as I thought. Extreme examples aside, intelligence cannot be truly defined. We all are better at certain things than others are, even if we don't know it. Most of my "intelligence" was not innate, but came from a solid educational background and academically healthy habits. Now that I know at least part of where my academic failure came from, I must use that to ensure that I can live to my limit by once again making education my identity, but furthermore, but "owning" it, and in accordance make conscious to ensure that I am worthy of such a thing. Only then will I possess the motivation to achieve my academic dreams.