Adaptation

Part of this post is copied from an email, because (although I am usually not aware of it) each time I write I expend "brain-power" and so am comparably mentally exhausted for this reason. I figured, since I was going to write about the same thing in the email anyway, why waste energy by recalling the thoughts again?

I've made the decision to cease use of the computer for everything but blogging, email, chat, and the anime that I have not finished. anything outside of that is not allowed. furthermore, the time in which I do the above exceptions will be scheduled and thus limited. In this way, I will ensure two things: (1) that I will gain more discipline and organization. (2) I will lower the level of overall brain stimulation, resulting in a forced adaption that will substantially encourage more academic activities- this change will be needed to be adequately prepared to attend college, and move on with my life as a whole (almost all academic exercises involve reading text, and since reading text is one of the lowest forms of brain stimuli, In order to gain enough motivation to read materials that I undoubtedly would not be interested in at first, I must already have adapted to that level to ensure a smooth transition, and avoid logical conflict.

well, although I did not think about saying it that way I admit as I was writing I was entirely aware that the above paragraph might have been a tad bit too "scientific" sounding...well maybe it might be a good habit, since at least at this point I believe my future career interests to be somewhere in the field of science.

speaking of which, another reason why it's important that I bring myself to a level where I can read a lot.

since my current job only works at nights, I have decided that I will hold on to this job, and go to college part-time during the day starting this january. even though I probably won't be able to arrange a grant this late in the year, I should be able to apply the grant money towards the already active student loan, so it would be the same either way. plus, they say that if you keep a low profile technically you can spend a grant on anything, so I guess I'll get one of those loans you don't have to pay until a year after graduation -that way I'll have plenty of time to sort it out.

a lot of the reason I didn't go to college for a bit was because I didn't want to waste money on something I wouldn't do. although the motivation was wrong (the gen. ed classes are mandatory for most majors, so I could just take them) I'm glad I made that decision, because otherwise I might have not been adequately prepared- over the past couple years I have learned many things, and it was just recently I realized a crucial way to apply the importance of adaptation and it's relation to relativity. Although I was aware of it- I failed to recognize the need to apply it to my own life (see The Importance Of Relativity)

now that I have realized that, and also many other things, I think that I am more than ready, and so will attend sjcc spring semester-on.

that's the end of the related half of the email, so now for other thoughts:

I may have said this before- but I'll say it again. Adaption IMO (In my opinion) is the most beautiful part of life. Because of adaptation, humans are able to withstand circumstances that, to the naked eye, seem impossible. Because of relativity, most people are not able to appreciate the beauty of it. To truly appreciate it, a person must (at the very least) experience one hardship of every level, intensity, and type. For that reason, it is one of my goals to do experience just that.

As strange (and to some, crazy) as it may sound, I want to see death. I have never seen it, which is why I want to. I want to see a person getting robbed, someone being tortured or raped, I want to have a close relationship with someone in financial or legal trouble. I want to get to know someone who's actually struggling with addiction, and despite great efforts cannot overcome it. I have seen many hardships, and most of the most pressing involved myself- but of these I am still ignorant. I do not want to be. I'm not saying that I will go out of my way to find trouble, but for the sake of enlightenment, I sure as hell want trouble to find me. (note hell isn't sure IMO, I'm just utilizing the expression).