Security

As part of my journey to perfecting my social character, I first started by going over "what women want" (the average women anyway)- and it just so happens that I have a fairly good idea- surprisingly. Although I have not even had one girlfriend, I have been compulsively browsing, creating, and responding to craigslist ads and free online dating profiles. Having realized that it was not working, I gave up- and assumed that the hundreds of related ads were no more than a waste of time. But it seems that now I can put that to good use. From those ads, there are qualities emphasized universally, and as such I can consider them as a reliable standard of what women. I know this may sound stereotypical, but as I went over these different qualities I realized that most of them originate from a need for security. It appears that most women need security more than anything- and due to past relationships, are metaphorically "starving" for it. As such- filling this gap would be a great way for me to get a girlfriend- the rest would lie in mutual commitment, passion, and other factors that should develop naturally over time.

For clarity, in addition to naming these qualities I will define and state the reasons why each of them are excellent ways by which to get the attention of a woman I'm interested in, and also get her interested in me.

Humor: This is the one that I see the most- women like guys with humor for many reasons- first, it gets rid of the awkwardness associated especially with dating, and it allows women to be themselves. Humor usually makes women feel like they're a better person around that person (as long as the humor is good-natured of course). It also allows them to forget about all other concerns and enjoy things in the moment, and "feel young again." It also allows both to be more open with each other- which stimulates that which (for women) is one of the most important elements of socialization- intimacy. For these reasons, humor might be considered one of the most crucial qualities when it comes to dating- especially initially.

Adventurous: This quality has a lot of advantages that humor has- such as the youthfulness and ability to eliminate awkwardness, but the real benefits lie in the excitement and romantic atmosphere involved. In addition, it inspires creativity and instills a mutual sense of power- which in addition to giving off a social high adds (to women) the much-needed overall security. The best benefit of an adventurous person is probably a constant influx of passion.

Organization: Women like guys that have organized lives and clean rooms, because it's usually a sure-sign of structure in their life. As such, the can be expected to have structured lives and be fairly predictable- which, for people with a need for security and deficiency thereof- is a very good thing. As a bonus- guys with the quality as usually very reliable.

Independent: Every time they enter a relationship- women know they are taking a risk. Regardless of how trusting they are- everyone, guys and girls, know that there's always a chance their lover is lying to them, perhaps about everything. So knowing that a guy is financially, emotionally, and socially independent enough without herself would be a major comfort to a women- because a guy having reached that level of maturity would have no reason to use them, or consume resources without even the guarantee of paying them back. Women recognize that, and so decisively avoid guys that have not reached a certain level of independence, even going so far as to date guys several years older than them, sometimes solely for this reason.

Confident: Although this is a big deal to girls- confidence is prized in most fields of life- and with good reason. Confidence makes others feel comfortable putting their trust in those with this quality. Not only is it a quality that for psychological purposes is inherently appealing, But it actually does increase the performance of those having it, regardless of actual skill, experience, or intelligence. It's a safe bet that improvisation can only be done by a confident person- and for the same reason a person with confidence is usually much more reliable overall than those without. This also factors in with the need for security of women- I think that in this way confidence is especially essential for males in heterosexual relationships. It is also my opinion that a humans' true potential cannot be released without the aid of complete confidence.

Down-to-earth: google defines down-to-earth as "sensible and practical"; "has a straightforward down-to-earth approach to a problem". Women, especially on craigslist- look for a down-to-earth guy- as with most of the above, for security reasons. They want to know that when there is a problem- their guy will be there to solve it in the most appropriate way possible- they need that reassurance.

Proactive: Although I don't see it being used in this phrasing, from what I can tell women are looking for a guy that can "take care of himself" making the best of things on his own, instead of relying on excuses, regardless of how valid they would be. A guy who is proactive can "sweep women of their feet" because they can't help but admire the power and guts that flow from a guy like that- "carrying the world on his shoulders"

Decisive: Women tend to go for guys that make decisions, and sticks to them. It reflects a sense of responsibility and implies that this kind of a guy has a good idea of where they're going- which makes women want to "go with them to the ends of the earth" ok maybe not quite that dramatic- but you get the picture.

Intelligence: This isn't necessarily a quality, but it definitely is something women want in a guy. It's well known that most people in the world won't get far without intelligence- not to mention that without it life isn't likely to be predictable. Maybe it used to be, but with the advent of high tech it won't be long before intelligence is a prerequisite to life.

Intellectual: I see this a lot- specifically, women want a guy that can actually carry a conversation. Well to me that's too low of expectations, but to each his own. But it would make sense this would be especially important to women, since as a rule of thumb- women rely much heavier on their social-life than men- it's not for show that gossip and women tend to go hand-in-hand. In fact, research shows girls generally start communicating at a much younger age than males do.