The Power of Parenting

People can make all the excuses they want for why their children could have turned bad, but if they really wanted to, they could have had them turn out exactly how they wanted them to. The problem is that parents aren't aware of the potential power they have over their children's, future, and more than that- are not willing or prepared to take full advantage of that potential. Now it's true that a child's future is determined by who they are influenced by, and generally that is not limited to parents. But they parents have full control over who those people are, or if there are any other people at all. In the cases that there are no other people (I don't recommend this of course) you have full control- but their future is relatively limited. IMO the best example of this in the media is the movie "Unleashed". In this movie, a man and his goons kill the boy's mom, and he decides the become the boy's guardian. The boy then grows to be a man, locked up in a cell and released only to practice killing people. Because this man took full control, the boy knew nothing except how to kill, and for this reason he was very good at it. Unfortunately for the man, the boy (now grown up) had a chance meeting with a piano tuner- and after a car accident (in which it was assumed he was the only survivor) he found his way to the piano tuner, as eventually became a completely different person than he would have otherwise.

As such that movie perfectly illustrated the level of potential power we have over children. But obviously we would not want to limit our children's future by cutting off outside contact, nor would we want to leave them to the wild. As is emphasized in past posts, The key here too is balance, and of course dedication and a high awareness of how the children are maturing, learning, growing up, and who besides yourself influences them. Ideally, a parent would be throughly informed before allowing contact with anyone, exert a high amount of influence over their education (i.e. homeschooling) keep an in-depth record of their daily activities (by which to analyze to ensure optimum results),etc. Homeschooling would of course require an alternative outlet for meeting social needs, which might prove difficult, since it goes against the current structure.

But even assuming that the parent had 10 years of active preparation (as I will) and have a large amount of funds by which to ensure plenty of time to take an active role in molding their future (for me that is the plan, but we'll see) no one's perfect- but still, we should do the best that we can.

Since it is fairly related, I will add part of an email I wrote recently:

you should consider that just because a child gets spankings doesn't mean that they proceed through life as the parent intended. In fact, given the intelligence endowed upon human beings, the spankings are highly likely to backfire due to the conflicting logic resulting from a child's self awareness. For this reason, parents should recognize that their children's minds are moderately complex, and take a more direct approach.

the reason why that parents spank their children is, in simplest terms, because they are lazy and uncommitted. most do not realize this, but that's how it is.

to clarify- if a parents spanks their child, the child will stop what they're doing, and after being spanked a few times, they will soon adapt, thus accomplishing the purpose.

while at first glance this may seem the best way (more efficient) there are many drawbacks:

1. The child may adapt in a way that goes against the parent's original intentions.

2. The child is much more likely to become rebellious by the time puberty takes affect (due to a sudden sense of freedom- the first things the child wants to do is that which is prohibited- the extreme form of punishment the parent gave them makes that which the parents prohibit tempting and interesting, in direct proportion to the level of corporal punishment previously administered.

3. The stress and pain caused by corporal punishment tends to have a negative affect on the child's future, overall.