Improving relations

Overall, I seem to be a slightly different person at home than I am when out. After discussing the issue with a friend, I was reminded this is a problem no one is exempt from, and furthermore: The other people living with me (I live with my dad, and he rents it out) are far from socially agreeable. But nevertheless, I still wish to do all that I can to improve in-house relations, and this post is to brainstorm methods by which to do this. Note that all traits I say I have are not applicable to circumstances outside the house, so chances are you might even wonder how I "nice person like me" could ever engage in the said social approaches. I don't know either, but I know I need to change it if possible- if only to be consistent, to validate my honest nature.

The first problem I noticed is that when my opinion conflicts with other's (quite frequently at the house), I have a tendency to have to defend my opinion. This is actually applicable not only to opinions, but also to anytime there is even the possibility that anyone might think something about me that differs from the truth. In all cases, it never once occurred to me that even if I defend myself, their opinion will probably not change, and furthermore, the need to constantly defend myself reflects badly on my character, and may even lead the individuals involved to believe that I am defending myself because they are telling the truth. For this reason, I should not have any reason to defend myself. Hopefully this habit is not too deep rooted, and is based on shallow perspectives that can be uprooted by the above insight. In either case, now that I am aware of these things I can work to fix it. This is probably the highest priority, because although not as prevalent, I have a tendency to defend myself even outside of the house. I have voiced many times that I generally do not care what others think about superficial matters, such as beliefs, lifestyle, fashion, etc. Yet most, if not all of the times I defend myself are regarding theses things. Even though I was not aware at those times that this is the case, It still is of great concern that my behavior contradicted my core values, effectively making me a hypocrite. Since I am now aware of this, I have no excuse, and so must work hard to correct this habit, as to maintain actions that correspond with my beliefs.

The second habit, is that I have a strong tendency to derive entertainment by asking people questions to which there is only one answer- in other words "testing" them. Aside from the problem that in many times it is clear what my motivation is (people generally do not like being tested), the answers that they give differ from the "only correct answer", which leads us immediately into negative relations, starting with debate, and eventually with insults, questioning of intelligence, and other childish mannerisms. Because this can be avoided by not testing others in the first place, I must work to correct this habit.

I'm not sure whether this is a problem more likely to occur in the house, but there is much more opportunity: I have not said "thank you" "please" "you're welcome", etc. for a long time- or rather, say it an average of less than once a month. I don't know when it got to this point, or for what reason, but (probably as a result of the lack of exposure to these articles of etiquette) I tend to feel uncomfortable when thanking someone or being thanked, and almost never say "please" when making a request, if not never. Obviously this is a big problem, so I must work to "make a habit" of utilizing these mannerisms.

I've always had a need to voice it whenever something was on my mind, and so this is a major habit of mine. The better I know someone, the more likely I am to voice my thoughts. While this may make for good conversation, It soon becomes tiresome to the "victims" and as such I need to consider: 1- do they care/are they interested; 2- are they in the mood to discuss such topics; 3- Does it even make any difference whether I tell them or not; 4- Isn't it important to only tell them things that actually concern them, so they can better make use of the those thoughts without having to deal with less important information?; among other things.
It is true that the majority of what I have learned is by stimulating my mind by means of communication, but I should work to find methods less burdening to others when going about the learning process.

I'm sure there are other important matters to consider, but this will do for now.