the illusion of life

this is a post I thought I had put down but didn't, anyway....

update: the part about this realization getting rid of my anger/depression is speculation, since I highly doubt that raw knowledge could possibly lead to such a radical change (just a couple years ago, and even 9 months ago, I was the exact opposite- constantly depressed/angry with no particular reason. I can't think of any reason besides knowledge, but like I said, knowledge couldn't possibly bring about such a radical change on its own.

In light of the variance in perspective and its relation to relativity, it became clear to me that emotions are illusions, and I learned much from this. I know right now you probably hold an opinion opposite that, believing that emotions are real, because otherwise they would not affect our lives so much. So I will provide an example- the film trilogy "The Matrix". One of the main elements in the movie, was the concept that in order to self-empower yourself, you must realize reality is what you make of it, not limited to how it is presented.

A specific example: Once neo not only realized, but applied his knowledge that the matrix was not real, he was able to empower himself in direct ratio to the degree to which his surroundings were illusions.

I think that although it was just a movie, to say that the amount of power we gain from acknowledging that which around us is an illusion, would be in direct ratio to the degree of that illusion also. The reason we don't have matrix superpowers, is even though we may be living in an illusion to a degree, that degree is not even comparable to the matrix (for obvious reasons- which are that it was 100% illusion- which is unbeatable)

Although there are many definitions of an illusion, here I am referring to an illusion defined as that which is non-material, and temporary. Emotions account for most illusions under this definition.

I realize that there are many things important that fit under this definition, but yes, that means joy, love, pride, momentum, nostalgia, trust, faith, hope- they're all illusions. But that also means hate, malice, anger, resentment- they are illusions too.

However, this is not discrediting any emotions in any way- in fact, understanding them like this helps to establish the same self-empowerment in "The Matrix"

Here are some applications to my real life:

Previously, when playing games, I would be winning as long as I kept the momentum, but once I lost it I would lose every time, due to a loss of confidence. Once I realized that emotions were illusions, I was able to keep the momentum. Because of that, I was able to make comebacks surprisingly frequently, and even those times I lost I kept my opponent on their feet the whole time through.

In addition, I have been completely devoid of both anger and depression since this realization. Because those are both illusions,I can render them non-existent in my own mind. All that remains is peace, and so for the past few months that is all that I have felt.

If you do not know me, upon reading everything above, you may perceive me as very unemotional, and most online tests I have taken have said pretty much that. But if you know me, you would know that I'm actually a lot more emotional than most guys, and a lot of girls.