Volunteer

For a while now, I have told myself time to time to go help someone in need, or do something more productive. But every time, this "evil" voice says "you don't know for sure that it will help anyway, and even if it does it's no gain to you. Might as well do something that at least you gain something from right now" (or something like that; note- "evil" is a joke). But all of the above is actually false. In fact, by not volunteering I am contradicting my core values by living in the moment, allowing myself to be content with being unproductive in my free time. What am I gaining from TV, movies, or even anime? I make excuses like learning the Japanese language and culture, developing my understanding of storyline development, as well as lessons about life...(this is referring to anime, which is my primary method of wasting time) but when it comes down to it- essentially nothing outside the moment. This should be unacceptable- and yet I have allowed myself to become such a waste of a life all this time. I should be spending all my time doing something that actually affects the future- rather than emulating being frozen in time and foolishly expecting reality to play along...

And volunteer work has many benefits: For one thing, it's probably the easiest way there is to make friends, of which I am sadly in dire need. With these friends (and acquaintances) come contacts- which is a smart thing to have career-wise, and of which I also lack. Heck, I'll probably end up getting my girlfriend while volunteering. People naturally tend to be a lot more open towards those offering them assistance, albeit partly out of obligation. Some of the best parts of volunteering though, is that you're free to choose what to do, and there's never a shortage of opportunities. Enough high-grade volunteer work can look really impressive on a resume as well. In addition, there are many vital skills that are best learned volunteering. For example, I want to be a parent- but in order to be adequately prepared for whatever problems or difficulties that will arise, as well as gaining a good idea of what my child's educational, social, and personal needs- The best approach would be to volunteer for daycares, elementary schools, etc. Since I know my career does not lie in these areas, but am in need of these skills, volunteer is undoubtedly the best way to go about it.

Of course there is also great psychological benefits to volunteering as well. Generally people don't volunteer, because, like me, they were discouraged by the voiced demanding instant gratification. I realize now that this voice (the voice doesn't actually exists, I am merely using it as a representation of the "ego") was preventing me from progressing in life. To achieve success, I need to understand that the best things in life aren't free or immediate- because a great reward always comes with a cost. In this case though, much of the cost is simply the willingness to take the initiative and wisdom to take the future into account rather than merely living in the moment. We all have the highly productive quality of gaining pleasure from the opportunity to actively help others- and all we need is to grab those opportunities by the horns.

Friction

For the past 1 1/2 years, I have lived with my dad- and consequently with several roommates, as he has rented the house out for sometime to bring in extra income. At first everything was cool, got along with everyone great- but eventually relations turned sour. For the longest time I blamed this and blamed that- assuming that the reason involved specific people. But as it turned out- those were just excuses to fill the gap, and I too had become guilty of scapegoating. But it was not until today that I realized this. It's quite surprising that I had failed to realize it, considering it was the same experience at all 4 group homes I had lived in for that past 3 years, as well as high school. The problem is one that, as I would have been surprised to know, no one is exempt from- and that is: Everyone eventually gets tired of each other. Now I'm not saying this necessarily always applies- but I believe it enough that I would bet a good $1000 that even two lovers would grow to loathe each other's presence if locked in a cramped closet for a year. Well, that's an extreme example, but should serve to prove my point. Everyone needs space, although until last night I failed to recognize that. I even listed myself on a test as able to tolerate infinite affection. Maybe I actually can, but I shouldn't make such judgments unless I am sure of it.

This inevitable friction found in relationships of all kinds- should be taken into consideration. It's understandable that it should be so widespread- since friction as a principle exists in the physical world. On that note- I will make use of the associated analogy- enough friction will eventually cause deterioration, decomposition, and destruction- as well as ignite wildfires. the most extreme example I could find of the affects of friction is the real world is a Nuclear Chain Reaction, although I believe in "The Big Bang" so that would be the most extreme period- although apparently unlike most extreme examples of friction the effects were positive.

Before I get on a tangent though- I would like to note that these analogies are an excellent metaphorical mirror of the affects of psychological friction. As such, one of the keys to keeping relationships healthy is to closely monitor the friction in your relationships. By doing so you will prevent any friction-related problems from occurring. As with adaptation the key is maintaining a balance. I suppose on that note balance is vital to all aspects of any type of relationship, so we should dedicate ourselves to monitoring and maintaining this balance between ourselves and those we hold dear. But especially in relation to friction, I should make sure to limit the time I spend with anyone I know- to prevent wearing out my welcome. To be frank, few people renting at my dad's house "have a life", and so the constant chaos is understandable, since most of them spend 100% of their free time at all (that's an exact percentage), and over half don't work at all- which of course means they never leave the house in the first place. But I should do my part and get something more of "a life' starting with college and some volunteer work (see "Volunteer" post)

Evil

This is copied from an email, and as such I have yet to determine whether to add more or leave it as is. But for now this should work.

In the past I said that I believed in evil, but that human beings are not evil, but that actions are. At this point I have gathered enough reason to extend that to say evil does not exist period. my reasons are as follows:

1. the morality of a human being is developed over time- and as such they have no control initially, and very little control overall as to whether or not they become what it stereotypically "evil"- and even the little control they do have ultimately stems from factors beyond their control- so no one has any actual control over their fate- because their choices stem from things that they learned, that were genetic, or that originated from outside influence of various forms. thus- a person cannot be evil, because that would require a choice. Ultimately, that choice does not exist, and that is what I derive this reasoning from.

2. anything, regardless of how extreme it is, could not be considered evil, at least not by us. if you believe in a God presumably he knows, but that's irrelevant for practical purposes, since prophesies are never crystal-clear, and don't happen hardly at all in the first place. Even if thousands of people are killed, who's to say that this event inadvertently prevented more tragic events from happening in the future. when you consider how small changes in the timeline usually grow exponentially in importance over time, such a thing isn't too unlikely. But regardless, we must consider that we're all going to die anyway, and most people prefer to be remembered. In most cases, the more gruesome a murder is, the more likely it is to remembered, not to mention the poetry and beauty that can be seen within moments just from the surface. For this reason, I want to die by murder. Dying in my sleep at a ripe old age is absolutely unacceptable. well, it doesn't have to be a murder, but that is preferred.

3. For the rest of the evil, the outcome is not determined by the circumstances, but the involved individual's ability to adapt. If they are able to adapt- what would seem evil might actually be for the best, because the life experience and knowledge achieved would be far worth it. One of the best examples of this are diamonds. In case you didn't know, diamonds are the products of death. specifically, animal, plant, and (possibly) human life die over thousands of years. eventually their carcasses decompose and meld together forming fossil fuels- specifically coal. Then it sits in the lonely dark caves for thousands more years, and turn into diamonds. this is nature's way of telling us that anything can turn out for the good if we let it. Some- possibly most people are not good at adapting. I believe the ability to adapt to be primarily genetic- although from looking at my family there's probably more to it- although it's probable that my dad's side is really good at adapting, whereas my mom's side is really bad. actually when I think about it this makes perfect sense (if you knew my family you would know what I mean by that) But in either case we have two choices: either force people to adapt at an equal rate, and the survivors will become evident by means of natural selection (not going to happen- the world won't accept that obviously) or closely observe everyone that we influence, and find their natural limit rate of adaptation. from there we can achieve a balance between growth and stability on an individual basis. This would be the ideal approach to eliminating what most people call "evil"

Smart Shopping

Over the years, businesses have evolved tremendously, and- as a result, people find it hard to determine which products are best. As a result of mass production and information technology, most products are made in roughly the same way, so we can no longer use the reputation of a company as a guideline, for many of the products we buy. Sure we can sometimes, but- let's face it- with the advent of technology, business reputations are slowly becoming a thing of the past. With this in mind, corporations have found other methods of promoting themselves. One of these is advertising, and with the amount of money put into it- I'm guessing that most people will buy things just because it's advertised. Although this is an understandable approach for the uninformed, it still bugs me that people would live their lives willingly influenced by people they probably will never know. Some buy things from the recommendations of friends, but while this is a step in the right direction, to become a smart shopper, you must be informed of products first-hand before purchasing.

Which brings us to the second alternative by which corporations promote themselves- which is, ironically (see previous posts) by giving themselves and identity. All the big names became big in great part because they offered services that pinpoint the needs of the customers in a way unique enough that non can match it. They specialize in meeting this need, until they attract a customer-base by which to thrive off of. A good example of this are movies. The popular ones usually fit neatly in a specific target audience. In my experience, the popularity is directly proportional to how much it specializes with the target audience.

In the past for a time I was obsessed with cell phones, specifically about the plans of different brands. I made a hobby of comparing the brands and looking for the best deals. from that experience, I learned that all the major brands have their good points- and as such, the quality is entirely dependent on whether you are a good match for the service, Not just in cell phone plans, but most major brand products go by this model, and most people buy products or services- completely unaware that their level of satisfaction is dependent on how good a match they are. Even if your friends recommend it, that doesn't mean that it's the best match for you- everyone has potentially different needs. Actually this principle is universal, but I'm just taking into consideration that the smaller brands are more risky, because- frankly the buyers are lab-rats.

Well I can't tell you about all the different brand's target stereotypes, but I think that cell phone carriers should serve as a good basis to go off of: AT&T has the best coverage, Sprint has the best voice quality, T-Mobile has the best customer service, Verizon has the best high-tech wireless gadget packages, Metro-PCS has the best worry-free bargain plans, and Helio is the best carrier for relatively rich social butterflies. And if you count Nextel, it's the best reliable walkie-talkie service (good for businesses)

Most products of major brands out there follow a similar model, gathering a target customer-base like so. Perhaps this is the best way to do business, since it's more efficient to choose an identity and zero-in accordingly (more simple) but it seems that for most people it's not simple enough- since the amount of money put into advertising is so outrageous. Well on the bright side, it keeps Google (my favorite company) going.

true tribulations

When I was a Christian, I found it so hard to understand what was so hard about living your life by the book. After all, the Bible usually says to life a certain way because it's the best way- so on that basis following it would be in our best interests whether we are a Christian or not. Since then, I have come to disagree with many of the Bible's core values, but it nevertheless still makes up a vital part of the basis for my morals, simply because it's right about a lot of things. And to top it all off, I had complete peace regarding what happened after death. I was nieve, but I have to say, ignorance is bliss. True tribulations (and this is coming from a person with 16 years experience being a Christian) do not come from holding on to a religion, but from not being able to believe in one. I cannot believe in any religion, Because my brute honesty about myself prohibits it. Maybe not to you, but to me it is clear that no religion on the face of this planet is entirely correct- It's very likely that none are even remotely close. I myself am agnostic, but that's not actually a religion- but rather a philosophy. It's about as close as I can get to having a religion though.

So, as a result, I have no idea what happens after I die. Based on this, it probably doesn't make any difference when I die- but I, as a human being with ambitions and the urge to make the best of life despite this uncertainty, am determined to live a long and fulfilled life nevertheless. Christians are so lucky- they can honestly and wholeheartedly accept what the Bible says happens after death, with no doubt or concern; and as a result, peace. For the most part I can indulge in this ecstasy (although for different reasons), but on occasion I cannot help but ask the question- at which point such concerns are inevitable.

Since for the past 16 years I had been a Christian, most of my friends are such; as a result, after happening upon the fated realization (brownie points to anyone who got the joke), most of those friends I've lost contact with (although there are many other reasons for this). I still have Christian friends, but we cannot share as close of a relationship as we did, probably because it's hard for them to hang around me and maintain a carefree stance- since in their mind I'm going to hell. I don't know what affect this has on this, but an inside joke that I've made something of a habit is openly admitting that I'm going to hell (of course referring to their perspective, not mine.)

Come to think of it- my type of girl is probably likely to be a Christian. Perhaps this is because, since I was a Christian all that time- my personality adapted to accommodate these standards, to ensure better socialization. If this is the case, I may have "cursed" myself (metaphorically) when I renounced Christianity. Well, then again, there's probably plenty of girls of that type that aren't Christians- perhaps I should go for girls interested in the fine arts?

In retrospect, I don't regret my decision at all though. although there have been many social setbacks, I have gained much in self-awareness, as well a better understanding of people from all walks of life, which as a Christian (I know) would not have been possible. Plus, I can always make new friends, and it's best this way, since as a result I was able to adapt and grow, rather than the less pleasant, and (unfortunately) prevalent alternative tragedy that befalls those of a similar past.

Stereotypes

A lot of criticism has been going on for a while about stereotypes. People are hyperbolizing it like crazy, only it's all negative. Why don't we cut the crap and admit that stereotypes are useful. The minority is called the minority for a reason- which is because there aren't than many of them (obviously). Things would be a lot better overall, not to mention more efficient if people realized their place, and dealt with it. Racism, Sexism, Prejudice- all of these are the result of people not being aware of their position. Stereotypes apply to everyone- we all have our strengths and weaknesses. That being said, we all are the minority on something. Stereotypes were invented to make life simple- and yet people can't mind their own business, and break the chain- re-complicating things just because they find it impossible not to take things personally. Wouldn't life be a lot better if people minded their own business and let things be? I don't even want to have to think about how much money is being wasted on the minorities- not to mention the thousands of people that have been killed throughout history over such trivial things.

And yes, it is trivial, when you consider "the greater good". Life is already complicated as it is, and while complicated can be a good things, We should have reasonable limits- and know when enough is enough. Someday the minorities stand a good chance of becoming the majorities- at which point they can play king of the hill. or maybe they won't but no matter what happens, people shouldn't be so self-centered, but instead recognize their place. Now I'm not talking about any particular stereotype, and to clarify that I intentionally didn't put any specific examples. After all, you all know what I'm talking about anyway- it's not too hard to find stereotypes. And on that note, considering how many stereotypes there are, people should recognize that (a) there's a lot of them because they're a good thing and (b) there's no way you can kill a stereotype- in fact, attempting to will likely only encourage more of them.

Well, only a few stereotypes have been targeted I admit, in the for of gay rights, [insert race (but probably not white)] rights, women's rights, etc. The amount of problems created by this constant struggling for "rights" is depressing. Maybe it never occurred to these people that those rights only exist because their country affords them, and that even if their so-called rights are banned, There is no action governments or individuals can take to imprison your mind (at least not yet)- and I doubt the government will care too much about how you live your life anyway- they understand as I do that such matters are trivial, and consequently no worth their time. Even if all your "rights" were taken away, as long as you aren't in prison, you can do whatever the hell you want. The only places where your "rights" apply are things like jobs and social services- and when it comes down to it, that's up the people owning the companies of these, and in all truth it shouldn't be any of the governments' business anyway. If we just leave things be, everything will work out for the best. Anyone with eyes to witness the perfection of nature would realize that letting things happen naturally is always best.

Cosplay (Costume Play)

This post is partially copied from an email I sent.
Until just a few seconds ago, I had a relatively negative and stereotypical view of anime fan-specific cosplay. to be blunt, I thought that such a thing gave anime fans a bad name.

but then I realized that once again, I had behaved like the rest of world, and refused to look at it from their perspective before passing judgment. Because, naturally I was raised that way, it's a bad habit that will take more than a change of beliefs to revise. when I have kids, I will make sure they have this straight from the beginning (not passing judgement on a behavior before considering the corresponding perspective and determining its validity)

in this case, when I thought of cosplay, I thought of... well costumes. Since costumes are generally outrageous, I assumed ideas that led to a visual that made anime cosplayers to look very childish. But I did not take into consideration- that most animes involve humans that dress in relatively ordinary close and many times have normal-looking hair and overall body appearance. for example, it would actually be a very fun and creative experience to dress of like Kyon since I look a lot like him already, and his clothes are relatively normal. Many of the cosplays people do involve characters just as normal (well, maybe not- he's unusually normal) as kyon, and I failed to realize that. I have much to learn.

I suppose the area where a lot of the misunderstanding occurred though was my mistakenly tying cosplay to the so-called role-playing. While I fail to understand the method by which it operates, I understand less how anyone can consider it fun. (For those not familiar with it, basically the "host" invents a storyline- and the participant take on the role of characters, either those from animes or made up by themselves. They then make their way through the storyline, in a game-like fashion. Since there are no preset rules or limits to the outrageousness, it's presumable that the winner is determined by the creativity of the individuals, most likely on a silent-vote system. This may also be the way in which anime fans gain respect- a streak of creativity that is agreeably high quality- would give the person to which the screen name is attached- a good reputation, and possibly popularity.)

But on that note- I have realized just now that I have had the same misconceptions about role-playing as I have had about cosplay. Although they may appear childish from the surface, both cosplay and role-playing foster creativity, and could possibly form the basis for the animes and mangas of tomorrow. But even that aside, they are active and socially stimulating activities, and help build skills in the creative domain, in a very unique way.

*Note it may seem that I am contradicting myself- but the truth is halfway through the post, I made a realization and had a sudden change of opinion as result. Once you get to know me well, you will find this is often the case, especially considering that most of what I learn comes through communication.