Deep Dark Secrets

Although it usually extends beyond this, my honesty is always adamant about matters concerning myself.

Below are the deepest darkest secrets that I have kept about my past. I am a very honest person, however, as to avoid scaring potential friends off, I removed more sensitive materials. However, to be truly consistent concerning this personality trait and lifestyle, I realized I must make no exceptions, and accept the risk.

1. In the past I have taken medications for illnesses such as bipolar, depression, Asperger's syndrome, among other things. There are multiple reasons for this, mostly circumstantial, but recently I made the decision to stop taking medication. Well, to be more precise, I kept forgetting to, and then realized that I was much better off without it. Following the withdrawal period, in addition to not having to sleep nearly as much, and an increase in metabolism...I did so much better I wonder if perhaps I could have saved myself a lot of trouble by not taking it in the first place (not that something like that would be possible in those circumstances, + I didn't know any better.

2. In part because of my aunt's sense of responsibility and misconceptions about my emotional state, and also complimented by an mental imbalance caused by taking unneeded medication, along with constant chaos due to transitions among other things, People got the crazy idea that I needed to a special behavior high school for special treatment. Keeping in mind the circumstances listed above, naturally the behavioral school only caused me to have bad behavior that otherwise would not have existed. As a result, I lost the innocence that I had held onto all through Jr. High. I was stuck in this rut all the way till graduation in June '06

3. My last year in the system (17 or 18 years old) I became bi-curious, and did 69 twice with a guy.

4. One year in Jr. High, I began compulsively sexually harassing the guys my age. Well that's an exaggeration, but honestly, I might have been possessed, because to this day I cannot recall any reason whatsoever for my actions. That is the only time something like that ever happened, but it still creeps me out a lot. I'll try to be optimistic and hope it was just stress overload.

5. In an effort to justify the actions of pedophiles (since overall they don't seem all that mean or perverted) I did an experiment. Using only my imagination, I first masturbated to the most sexually attractive woman possible. After than, I masturbated to the image of a little girl (i.e. no tits, no ass, etc.) The results were surprising- my arousal and the level of orgasm was much more with the little girl. I have no intention of becoming a pedophile, but this experience did lead to a much clearer understanding of their motivations. Chances are not many people can empathize with such an experience though, because we all sexually attracted to different people for different reasons. Ok, well although I won't actively be a pedophile, I may just children as a visual. after all, since it works better, it's common sense, right? Well, considering the definition of pedophile, pedophilia is not a lifestyle or a choice. Whether or not I act on it, I guess I am a pedophile, since I can't help that I'm more sexually attracted to little girls. I suppose when I get a girlfriend, I'll probably get one that looks like a little girl (i.e. short, baby face, etc.)

6. I have a tendency to torture cats; so, if given the opportunity I have and will start torturing it eventually.

I'm promising myself I will not regret posting this, but I know without a doubt that the above will seriously damage my reputation (especially #5!)

I love Japan

update: I have determined that the following is exaggerated quite a bit- but since I'm too lazy to tune things to a more realistic and practical level- I'll have to ask you to figure out which parts are exaggerated for yourself.

In addition, my logic at the time of writing this was fatally flawed. so the parts about the love being consummate and deeper than the love people have for each other, pretend those lines never existed- I don't have the patience right now to filter it all out- the structure of the entire post in unfortunately based upon these misconceptions, so I'd have to rework everything from scratch, and right now I don't want to do that.

I love Japan- in fact, at the moment of writing this I have just realized that I love Japan more than most people of this world have ever loved each other. To be specific, I love Japan with a consummate love.

The acclaimed psychologist Robert Sternberg developed a model of the different forms of love, which is known as the triangular theory of love. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love)
It is incredibly easy to understand, but the implications are very insightful. For starts, love is defined by three elements: Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment.

Infactuation= Passion, but no Intimacy or Commitment
Fatuation= Passion and Commitment, but no Intimacy
Romantic Love= Passion and Intimacy, but no Commitment
Companionate Love= Intimacy and Commitment, but no Passion
Empty Love= Just the shell of Commitment
Intimacy by itself is the defining aspect of close friends
Finally, Consummate Love encompasses all three aspects of love, the holy grail and ultimate ideal of those who seek it. And consummate love is what I have for Japan

Intimacy: I probably know more about Japan than 90% of the U.S. population put together- mind you, the general population tends to not be that interested in Japan, but you get the point.

Passion: Well, I wouldn't have to explain this portion if you know me, and chances are, if you're visiting this site you do. But to give a few examples:

1st sure sign- I've decided to write a book called "Remodeling Japan" to outline the many reasons why Japan, in spite of having a country with almost no natural resources, less than 15% farmable land, and on top of that a territory smaller than California (U.S.), was able to because the second richest country in the world. Ok, I'll try to resist the temptation to say more about it- I need you to have some reason to buy it when it comes out!

2nd sure sign- I've been thinking of wanting a tattoo for a long time, but after finding my name in japanese katakana (a kana variation), I decided that this would be my tattoo.

3rd sure sign- I am 100% positive that I want to give up my U.S. citizenship in exchange for Japanese when I get older. That's right- and I put a whole lot of thought into it.

4th sure sign- Well, have a talk with me and you'll see...

And the final element, commitment- I've committed most of my time the last few months to understanding, experiencing, and evangelizing Japanese culture. yes, I said evangelizing. Japan is my Jesus (well, I guess in this case it would be more appropriate to say Buddha since about 84% of Japanese claim Shinto Buddhism as their religion) other than that- the fact I'm willing to give up my residence and citizenship for one in Japan is a sure sign of my commitment to Japan

so that settles it- I have a platonic, unrequited, and yet consummate love for Japan. amazing, isn't it? Soooo... does this mean I can't fall in love with a woman because my heart in its fullness belongs to Japan? well, I guess we'll have to wait and see.....

hardships

Here I will lay it all out bare- the other posts tell everything about me possible except my life story.

Well guess what, folks? Here I'm going to even give away that too!

But just do me a favor, will you? Swear on your life that you will not feel sorry for me, because I love my past. The reason
for this is I love everything about myself, and have no regrets. Few people on this earth can honestly say that, and you
probably know I'm telling the truth, since I've made that quality of myself pretty darn clear.

I'll start with a few facts:
my brother got hit by a car when he was 5, resulting in temporary crippling and permanent brain damage.
my younger sister was molested by my other brother when I was 9.
my mom is mentally ill, including schizophrenia, paranoia, depression, etc.
I was belted frequently, most times of which it was not my fault, or anyones for that matter.
I wet the bed until my mid-teens.

there were many people who lived in our house, many of which were manipulative, abusive, and half-crazy. my family let them live there for free for a few years out of the goodness of their heart, and ended up getting used and screwed in the end. my brother, as a result of molesting my sister, was taken to juvenile hall, and then to a group home, along with several places afterwards. my sister was placed in foster care around that time, and I didn't see or hear or know of her whereabouts for several years. my mom declared several of the residents witches, and forced them all out, followed by forcing out the replacements (all of which she invited in the first place. My mom filed a restraining order on my dad when he resisted her trying to control the happenings of the house. then, since she didn't have a job, we lived off of food stamps. after that, my mom started talking about her dream about my dad being drawn away from the path, following the dark looming shadow that metaphorically represented the new age cult. then she read a Bible verse that said "run to the hills, ye Jerusalem" (I think it's in the prophets, after Isaiah). and we took a long walk, I'd say about 10 miles, to the east hills. We then went up the hills, all the way at the top, and hid at midnight beside the freeway. after that we came back. (speaking of which, my other brother (I have 4 siblings total) was born with several diseases: one that he could not walk because his nerves were defective at birth ("Spina Bifida"?). and the other something like "Bolus Bobilius", which makes it difficult (originally impossible) to eat, which meant he had to have liquid Pedia-Sure through a tube in his stomach (called a bolus tube). oh, and for a large period of time I had to take charge of caring for him, including taking out his stool (shit) with petroleum jelly. and I had to catheterize him too (put a tube in his penis to be able to transfer his urine to a cup). because of the tube in his stomach, I had to rub peroxide and sometimes silver nitrate at the insertion place, to clean and remove dead skin to prevent infection. I did all this for a while, sometimes getting up in the middle of the night to do it (because he had Pedia-Sure, he had to be fed 5 or 6 times a day, at regular intervals. He also had to be catheterized in at these times too. Anyway, because he couldn't walk, when we went all the way and up the east hills and back, we pushed him on wheel chair the whole way. later, my mom booked a flight to Kansas (my dad said it was actually Florida, but we thought it was Kansas) but since the transaction was electronically-based, she was convinced that they were new-age agents, and decided not to go to Kansas, and so we spent the night sleeping in the airport instead. after that, later on my mom said we were in the apocalypse, and so we needed to hide from the new age people, because otherwise they would drug and brainwash us and force the mark of the beast upon us. I suggested a place my sister and I had been to before she was taken away, and so we went there- which is a creek under a bridge not far from the house. We took with us several devotion books, but no food. My mom said we must starve to death so they can never get to us. While we were there, I slipped and few into the creek. Because my clothes were wet, I took them off and wrapped myself in a blanket we brought. We built a shelter from scratch, using branches, moss, dirt, and plants. However,
at the end of the night everyone except my mom and I were complaining about hunger, so we went back. At this point my mom and dad were legally separated. We went back, and my mom decided to go by her maiden name, since she wasn't actually married to my dad (even though she was, not so in her eyes since she claimed to be tricked). She had us do the same as well, and I continued to be faithful to her wishes until a couple years later. Social services, due to my brother's accident and my sister's molestation, were in previous contact, and due to my mom's irrational methods of dealing with their visits, they were suspicious. After hearing several reports, and finally my mom using her maiden name for mail, the police stepped in on court orders and took my two brothers and I to the children's shelter. At this time I was 11 years old.

And now for the hardships I had after being taken to the shelter: (To be continued...)

Todo list for my life

This is a todo list for my life, and is arranged by priority.

1. Get a girlfriend

2. significantly expand my circle of friends.

3. get a tattoo a custom design ジャスティン [insert "heart" symbol here] 日本 (Japan in Japanese).

4. Fall in love with someone, preferably someone who loves me too.

5. Write at least 5 books [in approximately this order]- (1) a collection of my thoughts about life (2) a highly original fiction novel, (3) an autobiography (4) a book speculating on the true literary origins of the Bible, and (5) one promoting Japanese cultural ethics- ultimately this book should influence the U.S. to follow the same systems.

6. Decide on a major that best fits both my interests and strengths.

7. Get a career following the same pattern

8. Become fluent enough in Japanese to pass the Language Proficiency Test, ideally at a high level.

9. Move to Japan

10. Gain Japanese citizenship.

11. Get married

12. have children.

13. take advantage of my awareness of fate, and dedicate myself to giving my children the best fate humanly possible, by raising them in such a way that covers all the bases, ensuring that they will succeed accordingly.

14. dedicate the remainder of my life to seeking out as many of life's answers as possible.

"Since a person doesn't necessarily need to ask questions to get answers- why even ask? It would be a lot more efficient and a whole lot less worrisome. If we bypass the questions and find the answers on our own. For that reason, I try to never ask questions, but just seek out the answers. Life's a lot simpler like that." - me

my gods; other thoughts

the following is a list of organizations I obsess about so much calling them my gods would not be inaccurate:

(in order by level of worship, most to least)

1. Japan
2. Google
3. Linux
4. Wikipedia
5. Craigslist

ok- can't say I worship any organizations to a level remotely comparable to those above, so I guess I'll end there.

Now for other thoughts:

I often think about after death *see post "after death...?" , and every time I think about it my mind is boggled. I don't believe in heaven and hell, primarily to fundamental consistencies (you won't change my mind)- so that leaves non-existence. even if I am reincarnated, I will have no memory of my past life, so the me of now will eternally cease to exist. Well obviously not existing doesn't involve pain or negative emotions, but the whole idea feels so wrong...I suppose we developed in such a way that our logic contradicts the idea of non-existence, leading to a metaphorical cyclic redundancy, empty set, or repeating decimal. Or, perhaps it's just me- I never asked anyone about this particular thing, although I have acknowledged my own thoughts about this. I think it's amazing that non-existence makes perfect sense, but I cannot come to logically accept it. I'm curious as to whether this irony might be a hint pointing to the true meaning of life.

One of the only genres of movies that I have never been able to truly enjoy are comedies. I'm pretty sure I get all the humor- I don't don't find it funny. So I usually stick to romantic comedies. But I can't even truly them- because most of them involve problems that could easily be fixed on the spot with honesty and openness. If you don't like something tell them, if you think that something might cause problems for the relationship, just tell them. If you really love them, telling them everything shouldn't be a problem, and if they really love you, the truth shouldn't matter not matter what it is. That's pretty much a no-lose situation, but they always choose to cause trouble for themselves and others. Movies are supposed to be based on real life- so thinking about it can be really depressing- God I hope they aren't that many foolish people in this world. Perhaps I am being a bit close-minded, but I can't help but think how utterly moronic it is for people to not have honesty and openness in a relationship. Seriously, when there's nothing to lose, why is it people prefer to dig themself a grave instead? I just don't get it- someone, please help me to understand this seemingly foolish lifestyle that so many people appear to have.

Turn-Offs/Turn-Ons

although this is preliminary- I feel it is necessary to list the things (that I am aware of) that turn me on and off, both for my benefit, and for those who know me or wish to get to know me.

Turn-Offs:

1. Dislike of cold weather
2. Having little to no concern for the future
3. Having an excessive need for sex
4. Tendency to patronize
5. Highly influenced by mass-media/peer pressure
6. close-mindedness
7. A lack of knowledge and/or use thereof (i.e. using improper grammar on a regular basis)
8. Intelligence deficiency
9. A lack of ambition; laziness
10. Inability to seriously commit
11. Sexy

Turn-Ons:
1. Intelligence
2. Having an active knowledge of philosophy/psychology
3. Singing
4. Dancing
5. Brunette
6. Short in height
7. Taking an active interest in writing
8. Unique/Counter-cultural (within reason)
9. Strong love for music
10. Adventurous
11. Cute

Essence Of The Soul

This is a book I am creating, and as such this post will (hopefully) be updated from time to time...

Update: this post has been discontinued, not because I ran out of steam, but because the steam wasn't good enough. If you disagree- it doesn't mean that I'm too critical of my work- just means you have bad taste. If that is the case- for the sake of you having a more accurate feel for high quality literary works- I suggest that you do yourself a favor and force yourself to think this is boring, because if you do not- your life will be ruined by the buildup of mild delusions. Face reality (just as I am), and admit this story sucks. I intend to freshen my sense of creativity- and come out with something much better. Eventually this might be adapted into something else- but don't count on it.

Essence Of The Soul

by Justin Benjamin

By which method can one determine reality? We have guides all around us, things like the senses, logic, and the perceptions of those around us, but does it not vary from person to person, even if only the slightest? In addition, with all honesty we can only accept that this reality we are bound by is wholly attributed to the past. What if reality was something to be discovered, is something to be explored? Most choose to leave those questions unanswered, and accept the reality created by the past. Some indulge in determining their own fate, but “in reality” are still bound by the same legacy; many of these would not realize this even if they were told, because the vast majority of the rules bestowed upon us are painfully unsaid. It would seem that this would sum up all those that are governed by this antiquity in one way or another, But let us not forget the select few that make the choice to abandon these limitations and create their own reality- although some do not yet know they have made the choice.


Chapter 1- The mysterious piano


In the the elevator of Congress Library's Madison Building, all inside were backed against the walls, most of which seemed to be holding their breath...except one. Was this person dangerous? No. Did he have a deadly illness that was highly contagious. Most definitely not. But Jason Thomas did have a quality that seemed a novelty in this day and age- His life was not influenced by society in any way, shape or form. In fact, he actually influenced society. Not only that- his disconnection from the rules of society even extends to his ideas about life. To put it bluntly, he believes what he want to believe, and his logic is highly original. It should be noted that having a logic as unique as this prohibits believing in something that anyone but him came up with, which of course means he does not believe in Big Foot, aliens, and other supernatural phenomena that have echoes through the centuries.


However, this does not explain why all but himself are against the wall, barely drawing breath. Well, the answer to this is comparably simple- He had simply casually mentioned that he had a deadly and contagious disease, and went on to explain the details, endlessly (to those around him) building upon the fearful visual. Within the first 30 seconds, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he indeed had the disease, and furthermore, was mentally unstable. Jason is actually one of the most honest people you'd ever meet, and probably is the most candid. That being said, how could he lie so convincingly? The answer would shock most, so try to keep an open mind- He can because he is so honest. Now before you get worked up about this paradox, Let me explain: Jason's honesty allowed him to realize that reality cannot be defined, or if it can that definition is not static. Thus, because at least one version of reality involves him having a deadly and highly contagious disease, He could easily believe it and cause others to as well. In truth, however, for him to get sick was so rare a thing that some may call it an omen. He could count the times he'd been sick in his life on his fingers.


Jason loved playing mind-games, although sometimes he loathed this about himself- people don't like others to mess with their heads, and so at times this hobby of his resulted in social isolation. The habit was so hard to break (since it's so damn fun), so he gave up trying to break it, although he still thinks about it on occasion. He also didn't care much for what people think about his actions. Not that he didn't take other's thoughts into consideration, but usually he found that his original thoughts were best. That's the kind of person he is. You could say that most of the time he just took in others' perspectives as a courtesy. Understandably, sometimes he wondered why he even bothered.


Now they had reached the first floor, and as the doors opened, all those inside scrambled out like bats out a cave. Jason gave himself a moment to take in the pleasantly comic scene, and then proceeded to head home. Pulling of acts like this are actually a daily occurrence for him, so you might wonder at what kind of person he is, having that much time on his hands. The truth may surprise you- the reason he has that much time on his hands is because pulling off acts like this is his job! Now as convenient as this may sound, most of the work isn't that easy. Sure he got to indulge in his favorite hobby, but that was only for ten minutes of each work day. The rest of the time, he wrote notes, analyzed data, researched statistics. These were all the things that he was good at, so I guess you could say it was the perfect job for him. The results of his work have a significant impact on the future of society, and he knows it- but the goals that he has in mind far exceed even that. Well, that being said, even Jason is not yet fully aware of the extent of his goals; much of this is still buried in his subconscious, waiting to be discovered.



After Jason got home, he received a call on his cell immediately after stepping out of the call. He heard the familiar trance tone he selected, and immediately knew that it was someone he did not know. The reason why he chose trance for these cases were that both trance music and the idea of getting calls from random people were both very exciting to him. Perhaps his anticipation was correct in this case...

But in this case it was someone he did know- it was his good friend Tony.

“Bet you were wondering who was calling, huh?” he remarked.

“Well actually, my cell just died, so I had to use the pay phone. I knew I should've replaced it by now, and speak of the devil!” Jason grinned.

“Well anyways, listen- there's these rumors going around about this mysterious piano. But these aren't the everyday rumors- no one has any actual information on it, and we all know if it was made up, someone would be a better job. I thought you'd want to check it out. Me personally, well you know me- I'm not the one interested in that stuff. Why don't you check it out?"

“You read my mind- hey Tony, did I ever tell you I have something of a hobby for playing piano?”

“No, you haven't. That being the case, what kept you from telling me until now?” Tony asked.

“Don't be silly- I just said it's something of a hobby. You know well that my other hobbies are a whole lot more that something. The truth is, I just never got around to telling you, or even thought about it. I was too preoccupied with those other hobbies, as I'm sure you understand.”

“Ok you got me, I give!” They both laugh. “Okay, I won't give away any spoilers, I know you wouldn't like that. The address is at 828 PROSPECT PL, 53703- so yeah, it's pretty near here. So I'll leave things at that- I'll catch you later then.”

Tony was more than a friend, he was a brother to Jason. Actually, he didn't follow the philosophy of 'blood's thicker than water.' Sure there is an undeniably convincing amount of history behind family bonds, But that was about the only thing that could support that type of thinking in his mind. Plus Jason never really spent much time with his family, so he didn't know any of them at all. One exception was his cousin Joy. But the ironic thing about it was that neither he nor any of his immediate family knew of her existence until after he had reached the age of majority. To this day, he still didn't know much about her, but he kind of liked it that way- so Jason didn't press her about her past.

So Jason got in the car, and headed down to the address he and Tony discussed, but halfway down there, something changed. he didn't know what it was, but was sure that it was important. It was a bit surprising, because there is the inevitable question "How could I know that something changed if I don't even have the slightest idea of what it might be?" But instead of worrying about this question, he marveled at it- and kept his mind occupied with what it might be. Not for long though- because soon he found such an engrossing thing was too dangerous while driving.

Upon reaching the place, Jason suddenly became aware of the location of the piano, as well as the things surrounding it...all while not knowing why. This is getting to be very interesting! he thought, but if he had been able to see into the future, I doubt he would have said that. Not that is wouldn't be very interesting, but that just those words wouldn't cover it. But not only was he aware of the piano, but he felt drawn to it- no just from interest, but almost magnetically. As he approached the piano, a song ran through his head- a beautiful song, no only that he'd never heard, but in a language he was sure was not from this earth. But at the same time the voice in the song did maintain an air of humanity. He felt a growing sense of calm at first, but just as a color spectrum blends together tones that normally clash, The feeling shifted to a a growing passion, melancholy, and ecstasy, as well as others. Awed by the utter splendor of the song, and the undeniable power it possessed, Jason was speechless. He had always be the inquisitive type- but never until now had the questions been so numerous, or so profound. He wanted answers, and knew there was probably only one way to find them.

So he sat at the bench, and began playing the song running through his head. This was not a problem, since Jason was an expert at improvisation. As he began to play, the voice began to changed to blend in harmony with the original song. Upon realizing this, Jason decided to take the challenge and concentrate on improvising the original part. The resulting piece was, quite frankly, out of this world; pity it wasn't recorded. As he continued to play, Jason began to see a shadow taking form beside him. This must be the owner of the voice, he thought. He was determined to learn more about this person, the secret behind the beauty of her voice, and how she was related to the mysterious piano, and the supernatural aura surrounding it. With that motivation, Jason continued playing with passion worthy of recognition. The shadow grew in clarity, and eventually took the form of what seemed to be female- but the bright and warm glow made it clear that she was not human. But at that point, the song drew to an end. At that moment, she began to fade. But before she had completely disappeared, he distinctly heard her say a few parting words.

"For the past few centuries, I have been trapped within this...piano. Well, at least that's what it is now...I don't have time to explain. I have been very lonely here, and you not only freed me from this prison, but helped me to remember the joy of the simple things in live. In thanks, I will bestow upon you some of the mysteries of the world."

With those words, she vanished completely, and to his great surprise, the piano along with her. At this point, Jason had a whole lot of questions and no answers, and he thought that quite ironic, especially since she had said that she would bestow upon him mysteries of the world. At least from th surface, it was quite the opposite- she had bestowed him the first mystery he had not solved...Well, of those that he had actually tried to- there are more mysteries than the whole world could even hope to solve in their lives. This being the case, it was clear to him that her words extended beyond human knowledge, and the truth would probably come with time.

So with that thought in mind, Jason decided to let the truth find him, and began to make his way back home. But even that being said, he was so absorbed in thought, he neglected to call Tony back, and when he decided to call Jason to see what was up- from the outside one could assume he was ignoring it. Finally, Jason heard it- and the shock could have driven him out of his skin if it were loosely attached (which fortunately it was not).

"Hey Jason, what's up? I was getting worried about you man- with you not calling and then all this time I've been calling you- I've been worried sick about you."That was an exaggeration, but it was true that Tony was worried. After all, there isn't a decent friend out there who wouldn't be/

"Yeah, sorry about that- I've been really deep in thought. Like you said, it really wasn't an ordinary mystery. Hey listen, sorry to do this to you, but can we wait till tomorrow to talk about it?"


"No problem- don't worry about it. That's my job. Well, guess I'll be looking forward to the details in anticipation. Hey listen- take care of yourself, okay?"


"I'll do that- thanks for your concern." The truth is, Jason didn't know why he felt the need to put off the talk. It's true that he was confused, but there was more to it than that. Something told him that he would be best off doing it that way. Perhaps the beginning of the revelations of which the unknown woman ("it"?) was referring. Well, it could have been just wishful thinking, but in this case Jason might not have been relatively close to the truth- or, perhaps the absence of it.

As he lay in bed, Jason was overwhelmed with what seemed to be a trance. Well, not that he would know, not having even been in one- but it was at least exactly what he imagined one to be. But as he "smoldered" in a daze, he became engrossed in the dancing of lights in the shadows of him apartment. He felt a mix of peace, ecstasy, and...Suddenly Jason realized that these all these feelings and the way they blended was exactly the same at it had just hours before while he was listening to the voice, and playing the piano in harmony with it. With that realization, he broke out of the trance instantaneously, and in the same moment realized that under normal circumstances, lights would not dance in the shadows at night.

Moments after that, he heard a voice speaking out to him. At first the words sounded like gibberish, and had a more chaotic tone, but intuitively he took the initiative and forcefully calmed himself. Then, he reasoned that since this voice was in his head, in order to communicate he had to speak on its terms, which in this case was telepathic. Who are you? I somehow feel that you are close to me, but at the same time far away. Please help me to understand what is going on. In all honesty, Jason was not even aware of that much until that instant. It was as if at the very moment that he established communication, a small glimpse of the truth had been revealed to him all at once. That, and he was also able to respond under those pretexts at the same time. Well, perhaps it was a bit different, but there are only so many explanations available, considering that the time frame is limited to milliseconds.


I am very surprised that we are even able to communicate- this has never happened before. Not in the trillions of years that we have existed. I know everything about you- but, as it is to be expected, you know nothing about me. Normally universal law states that we are not to enlighten humans of the true nature of things, or about their connection to ourselves. But it seems that another of our kind has already done so- and, as is the nature of these things, there is no going back. I don't know if this is for better or worse, but if you don't mind I plan to take full advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity.

At these words, Jason became exhausted, and once again fell into a trance. When he finally came to, he was in a world unlike any other. Next to him was a man, glowing with the same radiance of that of the woman that night, and also taking a similar form. Rather than questioning his surrounding (he knew better) Jason took the initiative and began the introductions. "Since you know everything about me, it's only fair that I know a bit about you. let's start with your name."

"Good question- and the answer is not so simple. Souls- if that is what you would call us, do not have names. The reason for this is that we could not bear to taken on such superficial traditions. Instead, we prefer to familiarize ourselves with each other's auras-the signature or dna of each individual soul. This is especially appropriate since we only communicate telepathically."

"On that note, I noticed that right now we are not using that method, but instead as "humans" do. Explain to me how this works."

"Ah, yes, of course! See, I've enveloped us in an illusion for your convenience- seeing as how it can be a bit awkward, if not disconcerting for one such as yourself to communicate in the "normal" manner.

"One more thing...-" he was cut off. "Perhaps it would be better if I read your mind and give you all the answers in an instant."

"That would be quite convenient...ok go right ahead."

In that moment Jason learned of this place, of the connection between souls, and several things were cleared up with the answers he was given. To be safe, the soul only informed him of the bare essentials, partly because the development of the human brain was a group effort- and as such no single person had an completely accurate understanding of it. Another reason was because communicating with humans directly, although has happened, only happens about once every 100 years, and only in special circumstance. Thus, the nature of such communication is fundamentally experimental.

The place in which they were currently "conversing" was a middle-ground between dimensions, the realities of souls and of humans. This soul, which prior to these events had been assigned to him, was able to take Jason here using dreams as a catalyst. The reason why it could be done in this way is because this area was the closest to the human psyche- and as such could be reached by an ordinary human while dreaming. At some some point in their life, most humans actually have crossed over to the dimension of souls- but because it is a dream, few if any have ever been able to realize understand, or believe this knowledge- simply because "it was only a dream." This place is conveniently also the best place for humans to exchange thoughts on a subconscious level, which of course is the best way to exchange thoughts- because there is no better way to ensure applying knowledge effectively.

Even a stranger with an untrained eye would see this place as a utopia, and Jason, a more prepared and open-minded individual, could fully appreciate the magnificence and splendor of it all.